The Amazing Power of Two-Packs

Something I’ve been giving a lot of thought about recently is the amazing ability that a two-pack can have on a person. For instance, when you buy a two-pack of toothpaste, you always have that brief moment of panic when you’ve squeezed all you can from the tube and your mouth tastes like you may have somehow ingested a fart recently. But wait! There’s still hope! You open your cabinet and there it is… A fresh new tube ready to extinguish all the germs from your disgusting mouth. This type of momentous occasion is applicable to many different products and situations. And this gives you a chance to make some additions to your current supply.
Multi-packs are a different story.With multi-packs we tend to get jaded and overconfident. “Is this the last toilet paper roll? Of course not!I bought a freaking 30 pack; I’m sure I still have a months w… Oh no…”.
If we got 2-packs it wouldn’t be an issue. There’s a reason God had Noah only put 2 of each animal on the ark, and it’s not the reason you’re thinking. Get your mind out of the gutter. He could have filled the ark with all males and built the females from their ribs if he wanted to.He may not have even needed that template by then; He could just make them appear into thin air. Come on, He created the universe in 7 days. Making a new rat shouldn’t be a stretch for Him. The real reason for the pairs is that if one falls from the boat and drowns He has a little time before He needs to make a new one, and it may be necessary to reconsider if that animal is ready for the new, post-flood world. Maybe He wants to make some upgrades to his current selection of animals. This was a test, a sort of try-out for the animals to prove their worth. If one fell off the boat it could probably use some added intelligence and balance. Maybe some animals weren’t worth the trouble (but more on that in a future post). He really has no need to keep house cats around anyway. They don’t do anything but eat, sleep, and annoy people. But the point is that He has the time to think about things like this. This is the reason that 2-packs are so important to the world. We need to have more things come in the coveted dual-packs. Right here and now I am starting a (fake) petition to make 2-packs of everything: shirts, beds, waffle irons, whatever you can imagine.


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Filed under humor, Thoughts

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