The Complexities of Changing the Toilet Paper

Changing the toilet paper roll when the current one is out has been a continual source of anxiety for a lot of people in our society today, including myself.  When running out of toilet paper, the first thought that comes to mind is “I really hope that isn’t the last of it.”  Then you think, “Damnit!  I knew I shouldn’t have gone out and TP’d crazy old Mr. McGee’s house last night, even though that jackass deserved it!”  Then it becomes a desperate attempt to locate a kleenex or napkin or something that can be a decent substitute.  It’s really quite horrifying and humiliating, regardless of whether you’re alone or not.  Anyway, for those of us lucky enough to actually find a roll, it is a hell of a lot of work.  First you have to pull the rod off, requiring a shift and tug motion simultaneously.  I don’t understand why there can’t just be a button to push like with everything else.  But then, you take the roll off, throw it in the trash, put the new roll on, struggle to get the damn thing to line up with the holes on either side of where the rod is supposed to go, and snap it back into place… all the while trying not to focus on the straggler hanging on for dear life underneath you.  Also, which way do you put the toilet paper on the rod?  Up and over or down and under?  People are so weird about the way they prefer their toilet paper, so you want to be able to please the most guests possible when making such a vital decision of bathroom etiquette.  I personally go for the up and over method because there’s no reason to put any more imagery of having to pull something out from underneath something else when you’re taking a fresh dump.  Such a simple bathroom product should not require so much stress and decision making.

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