There’s always one in every group… The person who cannot be left out of anything. They were the children in grade school who always wanted to play with the toy that you had at the time, not the one that they greedily snatched for themselves at the beginning of play time. Why is it that they feel the need to be included in something, good or bad? A friend gets in trouble, but this person gets let off the hook for the same thing and they stand there going “What the hell? Why didn’t I get in trouble?” They start to get paranoid, wondering if the teacher didn’t think they were worth the effort of putting them in timeout, or if the teacher even noticed them at all. It festers in their brain and this illness gets worse and worse as they grow older. They want to be “in the loop” for everything. “Oh, Bob was fired, huh? Can you explain why he was notified before me?” ; “What are you guys talking about? Why won’t you tell me? Are you talking about me?” ; “What are you guys doing? Oh, lighting your hair on fire and chewing on gravel? I could do that, let me try”. It’s pure insanity. Well I am here to tell these people that there are plenty of things that are good to NOT be included in: prejudice and bigotry, drug abuse, the fan base of Everybody Loves Raymond… You see, this is what happens when you try to be included in too many things: one idiot decides they like something, and then other people (victims of the let-me-play syndrome) want to be included and begin to say that they, too, “like” the same thing even if they truly think it is stupid. you see, that’s when we end up with things like Nickleback. Here’s a solution. Make all of these ailing people listen to “Something in Your Mouth” set to repeat for a solid hour and guess what… they will be cured!