Old People

Old people have the good life.  They can get away with pretty much anything I have decided.  If an old guy lifts his leg and lets out a loud fart directed at his grandchild, the only thing anyone could say is, “Well, at least his bowels are still working.” If an old lady steals a movie from the video store, she may get a warning at best, but they will most likely just say “Aw, she doesn’t know any better. She’s just confused.”  We all know they aren’t going to be around forever, so we feel the need to let a lot of stuff slide.  They could say the meanest things about someone and all anyone could say is, “Oh don’t worry about it, he’s just a product of his generation.”  But I am on to their little sympathy game.  They do all these crazy things just to see how much they can get away with.  If I were old enough to get away with stuff, I would obviously do some crazy and obnoxious things as well, no matter how crude they may be.  I would be peeing on random things and taking whatever I pleased from people. ” Oh no, grandpa just has urinary incontinence and he forgets what is his and what isn’t.”  So if you’re old and you’re reading this, I know what you’re up to.  You aren’t fooling me.  Enjoy easy street while it lasts.

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