Celebrating America this past week has been pretty fun. I have eaten tremendous amounts of grilled food and watched a ton of fireworks illuminate the sky. However, as with every holiday, one thing continues to piss me off like none other.
“Hey, try this!”
“O, did you have a chance to taste that yet?”
“O my gosh, I thought of you when I made this, I am sure you will love it!”
Okay, now, I am sure that many of you have heard these phrases uttered all too often on days like today. Your Aunt makes some new concoction that she is just dying to have everyone try, or you friend thinks that the beer he brewed in his own basement will somehow be better than the delicious American Beer that is already in your hands. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love to try new things, but I like to do it at my own pace and according to my own rules. Yes, I have rules for eating food, for example, I do not consider fruit worthy of being in a dessert (especially strawberries, the devil created that vile poison).
But let me get back to the point. The worst thing I have ever heard is the following:
“O it’s an acquired taste, it takes awhile before you get used to it!”
Screw that nonsense. Why should I sit through a thousand trials before something begins to taste good. No thanks, I will stick with the food and drink that tasted amazing the first time I tried it (thanks Hostess cupcakes, you have yet to fail me). There is a reason that I have not had a strawberry since the 3rd grade. It tasted like the most worst evilest venomous thing in the world. And guess what? I have not tasted one since. I am not going to acquire that taste. Yet people continue to think that things will change for me. Please, I beg you all to stop forcing people to acquire a taste. Just because you got hood-winked into forcing down some gross food, does not mean that I should have to suffer that same fate. No thanks, I will stick to the brownies, steaks, Cokes, and apples (yes, I threw in a fruit just so you don’t think I am some grossly unhealthy person, which I can be but that’s besides the point). You acquirers of taste, you keep you rice cakes, your home-brewed beer, and all other crap tasting food and drinks. Go ahead, you acquired it, so keep it for yourself and never make me try that crap.